Benefits Of Telling The Truth In A Relationship

Truth-telling. Authentic living. Being real. These are phrases and ideals we often hear about, but do we truly understand the implications of truth-telling? The pure freedom that comes with being real? The awesome power behind authenticity?

Conversely, are we aware of the devastating consequences that comes from lies? half-truths? and misrepresentations? Both pre-meditated and unintentional…

Sometimes the reasons we don’t tell the WHOLE truth is because want people to like us and we are afraid of them knowing the WHOLE truth. Oftentimes we seek to tell ONLY what we think is needed to know so it benefits us, but doesn't hurt, anger, or drive another away.

Sometimes we are afraid to tell someone the truth about an opinion or belief we have because we are afraid of the reaction the person who has asked us. We instead should perhaps be more mindful about the consequences of the lie.

Some people wonder what would become of their relationship should their spouse find out that secret they are hiding. So, questions like “will he/she leave me if he/she knows?” or “will he/she still love me if he/she knows?”

Believe it or not, there are always more benefits than dangers in telling the truth in our relationships.

TRUST

The benefit of always telling the truth in a relationship is TRUST, telling your partner the truth at all times will build trust in your relationship, not just trust but a strong, unbreakable one. Now, if your partner knows that he/she can take you for your word, then there would never be any reason to doubt you. In fact, when you lie it goes unnoticed because he/she have come to trust you.

SECURITY

The benefit of telling the truth to your partner, at all times is SECURITY. Everyone in a relationship, especially one where love reigns supreme, needs to be assured of their security. They need to be sure they are truly loved, truly wanted, truly cherished or valued. Telling lies to a partner will never give them that SECURITY. Once they come to know you as a liar, the reaction you’ll always get is “how do I know if you’re telling the truth?” or behind you, they are telling their friend(s), “how am I sure he/she is telling me the truth?” “How am I sure he/she is not doing something else over there?” Truth is, your partner’s SECURITY is at 95% when you tell the truth to them and that is no matter what the story is.

TRUTH-TELLING TEACHES LESSONS

You can learn a lot from a difficult truth. We learn the most from our failures and the failures of others. When someone shares a truth about themselves they are sharing wisdom with you. Wisdom you can use to learn from for a situation in your own life.

When someone shares a truth with you recognize their courage and thank them. When you share truth with someone else you are sharing yourself and the wisdom you have from experience. This is the essence of friendship, sharing and learning together. I have learned some of my greatest lessons in life from hearing about and witnessing other people’s failures. I have been fortunate to have a few friendships that are open, honest and truthful allowing me to be privy to lessons in life I would not want to experience. I am ever so grateful to those people for trusting me with their truths.

PROTECTION/DEFENSE

Another benefit, why you may want to consider telling the truth in a relationship is PROTECTION/DEFENSE. So your partner knows you can be trusted, they are secured with you and all, great! You know why? Because now they can stick their neck out for you! Trust me; they will be willing to keep things that way. They will have no time for hear-say; listen to nothing anyone has to say against you or their relationship with you. Then, you hear things like “never! That cannot be my Julie.

GRACE IN TRUTH

It goes without saying that truth-telling should always be done in a gentle and respectful way. (Ephesians 4:15)  Telling a truth about yourself should be done in a way that honors yourself and the person you are telling. Speaking about a difficult truth should stay within the relationship and not used as fodder or gossip.

The last benefit that I have to share, which isn't the least though, is that telling the truth to your partner reliefs you of all heavy burden. You may not know it but keeping secrets in a relationship is a very heavy weight. You are never at rest. The next minute your partner opens his/her mouth or acts up; you’re thinking “does he/she know?”

 But the moment you know you have nothing hidden in your cupboard, dear Sugar, you’ll fly like a bird. You’ll freely express yourself without reservation. Telling your partner the truth or that little secret will further  proof one of two things, you’re truly loved and can be forgiven or you’re not for that person and you both might have to move on after the revelation.  

That thing you are hiding from your partner might be the Litmus paper to test if indeed you are meant to be. So, please share it and see if you are really meant for each other or the partner doesn't deserve you. After all, when you truly care for someone, their mistake will never change your feeling towards them.

 Questions to ask yourself:

Am I afraid to tell the WHOLE truth in some of my relationships? Why?

Are there relationships I have desire to go deeper with? Am I willing to tell the truth (even difficult ones) to deepen this relationship?

Am I in confident relationships or draining relationships? Am I confident or a drain in my relationships?